Binder System
I have a dear friend who will be moving away soon. She has two little kids and a husband overseas, so most of the planning will fall on her shoulders.
To help her along I put together a planning system of three binders that are simple to use but will be invaluable as the move planning proceeds and the paperwork starts to fly around. As green as we may try to be, the paper will still pile up! And keeping good track of it is critical to getting a sound night sleep during this crazy process.
Three 2 ½” binders marked “HERE”, “THERE”, and “GETTING THERE” should do the trick.
Three different color binders so you can grab them on the go without mixing them up.
Filled with tabbed pocket folders to hold receipts & reminders, this should help make her move as smooth as possible.
Tabs in the “HERE” binder include:
- Contact Numbers – for tracking every person you deal with in the move planning, realtors, PTA presidents, school administrators, utility service providers, etc.
- Call Log/Notes
- House Listing Forms – keep master copies on hand for easy reference
- Showings – track the showing dates and realtor cards here. I like to send a quick thank you to the showing agent each time a showing occurs.
- Contract with Buyer – keep the house contract with the folks buying your house here for reference
- Utilities – make a list of each of your home’s utility services with contact numbers and shut off, final bill payment dates.
- Movers – keep quotes, documents, and tracking here.
- Storage – keep track of items in storage here. This is also a good place to store a backup copy of your home contents inventory on CD or DVD.
- Insurance – keep track of your policies: homeowners, renters, moving, etc. here and move these documents to the “GETTING THERE” binder as your move progresses.
Tabs in the “GETTING THERE” binder include:
- Receipts – keep everything to document for reimbursement/taxes/tracking
- Mileage
- Directions
- Reservations/Accomodations
- Passports/IDs
- Bills/Statements – Things to handle during your transition
- Family Medical Records – you’ll want these on hand during your travels just in case.
- Items to pack for trip to new home
Tabs in the “THERE” binder include:
- School Data/Comparisons
- Realtor Info.
- Home Search Tracking – keep house/apartment fact sheets here with your notes to compare prices/qualities/locations, etc.
- Receipts – you’ll generate plenty of expenses/mileage during this phase as well
- Temporary Quarters – search/reservations/details
- Kids’ School Records – you’ll want copies of your kids scores/departing school’s curriculum summary/book lists, etc. to give to receiving school.
- House Purchase/Apartment Lease Contract – you’ll need this to register kids for public school
- Utilities – Turn on contact info. and dates.
Keep in mind, moves are just like weddings, no matter how well you plan, there’s always going to be something that goes a little awry. That’s where good organization & asking folks for help can make a big difference. A graceful attitude and a sense of humor will carry you the rest of the way.
Relocation Optimization
While I can’t comment on the quality of this particular company’s relocation services, they make a good point about the stress that relocation puts on employees and their families. http://www.caprelo.com/CapRelo/Recource_Center/Articles/The_Hidden_Costs_of_Relocation/
Have you had a successful experience with a relocation firm? What specifically about their services was most helpful?
Up, up, and away?
It occurred to me the other day that frequent relocation is a lot like hot air ballooning. You start to get the heat going to fill your balloon. You feel the basket begin to lift as it jolts upwards. You may even start to soar a little, silently over the tips of tree tops, eyes wide at the unfamiliar and dazzling view of new sights. You might start to like what you see and want to stay a while…When suddenly you feel the air start cool. You float down again, hopefully gently, settling onto a new spot on the globe.
Lately, I can almost hear the sputtering of the gas in the burner flame and am imagining another flight of sorts. Take offs and landings, imagined or real, are not my favorite part of the journey. Realizing that another descent onto an unknown landing place may be on the not so distant horizon for us is a little disconcerting. It’s strange how knowing that change is coming makes me start to turn inward, alternately rejecting social invitations or stacking them precariously close, as if a full calendar can stave off worries about a pending change.
There’s a quiet excitement that comes from floating somewhere new. Even so, sometimes I find myself daydreaming about how nice it would be to stay grounded. But we’ll begin again if need be, because who knows what adventure awaits?
Thankful thoughts
I have just passed the one year mark since our family’s last move and each of us seems to be finding our way in our new community. My kids have found friends, a renewed love of making music in their school band and at home, and they seem to be settling into a sense of flow with a nice balance of activities, learning, and fun. My husband is now a known entity at work and he appears to be getting a lot of satisfaction from his new role at managing an office. And me, mama, the one who is usually left unpacking all the final boxes, has gotten the cardboard and packing paper dust off my hands and have enrolled in graduate school (again). I think it’s quite remarkable how a forced change (like a move) can beget elective change for self-improvement. I am a student again and loving it. Each class in my social work program presents a new way of looking at the weary world I have lived in for forty years and then offers some hopeful opportunities for meaningful change. There’s that word again.
I am so thankful that we’ve survived this year of changes. I am also thankful for the neighbors who welcomed us to our new neighborhood, helped us through a worry-filled period when one of our sons faced a difficult health issue, and thankful for the amazing experiences we’ve had here in our new community. Had we not been open to change, we’d never have seen a sunrise on Mount Rainier, never kayaked with seals playfully nosing our boats, never experienced the comraderie and windblown fun of razorback clamming, or witnessed the thrill of catching a 20 pound king salmon. Safely ensconsed in the status quo would have been fine, but oh the things we’d have missed! When the cliche “change is good” flies out of someone’s lips, I know the truth that resonates below the surface and for this I am thankful.
Keeping on Track
There is no piece of information more important to a successful move, in my humble opinion, than good record keeping. You may think that your brain is capable of juggling the thousands of pieces of information and dates associated with this move, and if you’ve got a photographic memory, then great for you! But even so, if there comes a time to follow up on a contractor who doesn’t follow through, or a lending company misleads you, or you wonder how many home showings or price drops it took to get an offer on your house, written records will prove invaluable.
One simple method: Get a binder, file pockets, and print out a blank calendar. Slip any receipts in the file pockets, keep chronologic notes on every aspect of the move, and write notes and important dates on the calendar. What could be easier?
If you keep things all in one place, your organization should pay off in future financial tracking, legal issues, tax preparation, and who knows you may even sleep better!
Here’s a site I like for printing out free calendars: Free printable calendars. You can customize them to the dates you want or just print them out as blanks. Either way, you’re on your way to a more organized move.
Have a tip or technique to share that makes moving easier? We’d love to hear it.
A Safe Landing
Landing in a new community can mean a lot of variables you are beyond controlling. This can be scary, no question about it. But I believe gathering information is one way to have a better handle on what you may expect in a new area. We can’t control the world around us, but we can control the information we have to understand and to deal with these uncertainties.
Here are some things to consider learning more about in your community:
Connectivity – How will your new environment operate and function for you on a daily basis? Where are the nearest doctors offices, grocery stores, public transportation, fire and emergency services, schools, employers? How will these affect your daily routines? Are there sidewalks, bike paths, safe roadways, construction that will affect your quality of life?
Community - What is the tone of your new community. Is it a healthy place? Are there adequate community recreation opportunities (parks/classes/sports)? Are there adequate resources to support schools? Are there construction or school district rezoning plans underway? Are there sufficient jobs? What are the politics of the town/city? What issues are they facing? How are homelessness and hunger addressed in the community (with compassion or ambivalence?)
Safety - What are the newspapers and police crime reports documenting about your community? Are there drug, gang or burglary issues that are dominant? Growing problems? Areas of improvement? Review sex offender registries. What do the local storeowners say about their community? Tune in to televised City Council meetings or contact local government offices to find out how problems are being handled.
Health - How healthy is your new neighborhood? What were the area properties’ former uses (any hazardous materials use? information is available at local health departments and departments of natural resources) What kind of property uses surround your new neighborhood? (Manufacturing/smoke stacks/leaking tanks) What is your water supply – can you confirm its safety? What kind of building materials are in the homes in the area that could present a health issue (ie: lead paint, lead solder, contaminated wells, sewer issues, etcetera.–a qualified building inspector and the local health department can help address these.)
Financial - Where will you fit in the socioeconomic structure of this community? Are you comfortable with this position? Will you have adequate access to social services if needed? Are property re-assessments or special projects on the horizon. How sound and soundly managed are the community’s resources?
Culture - What is the tone of this community with regard to cultural difference (is it tolerated? subjugated? or celebrated?) Are there public arts festivals, museums, libraries, open community events? Are ethnic groups segregated or integrated in the community? Are there cultural celebrations? Are there arts and other cultural events in the schools?
Nuisance - If possible before the purchase or sign of a lease, consider returning to the neighborhood several times and get out of your car and walk around. Let your senses experience the community. Are there odors (nearby landfill, farming operation?), noises (airport flight lines, loud or unleashed pets, are there speeding cars or littered lawns?) Talk to neighbors. Are they open and welcoming, concerned, guarded?
Making a Difference - You will be a contributor to your community either passively by simply living your life within its economic and social framework or by actively getting involved. Some of the items identified above could be positively changed by the unique qualities that you bring to your community. Isn’t that an interesting concept full of possibilities?
These are just some starting points for thinking about your relocation. No matter how much information gathering you do, there will be things that are imperfect about your new community. Your individual values, choices, and attitudes influence the extent to which the above items play a role in your life.
Due diligence cannot be stressed enough. Banks and investors consider a huge checklist of factors before they make an investment. Why should you be any less entitled to information? Ask questions, consult experts, proceed thoughtfully, and do not allow yourself to be pressured or bullied into decisions you may regret in the future.
I would love to hear how your values influenced your choice of places to live. I will have more information to share about these issues and more stories to share in the coming months. In the meantime, I wish safe landings for you and your family.
Support for Moving Families and Kids With Learning Disabilities
Changes are challenging for all of us, but moving with a child or children with learning disabilities poses additional challenges. It is difficult enough to evaluate school systems from afar or even with school visits and e-mail available for communication. It is so important to make the best educational choices up front to avoid multiple transitions for kids.
When it comes to moving, LDOnline has specific suggestions regarding whom to contact and suggestions with regard to Individual Education Plans and making the transfer from one school to another as smooth as possible. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry has information on the laws pertaining to special needs educational services. Another helpful site: Greatschools.org has a lot of resources for parents planning the next school experience for their special needs learners. There are also many online support groups for folks to connect on these issues.
All kids deserve a positive learning experience and it’s good to know there are folks out there with this shared goal in mind.
Please share with us any helpful resources you have found. Thanks!
It’s Time for a Change
So you’re thinking about making a move. Not a small decision particularly in this uncertain economic climate. Here’s the key: there are so many wonderful possibilities that a change can bring, but it’s important to make the step carefully.
I’ve moved so many times that when I first consider a new location, I head to a couple of very helpful web sites to get the feel of the area:
City-Data.com This site gives all sorts of local statistics on an area and has great input from residents, visitors, and inquisitive relocators. A lot of great questions about a region are answered here.
Sperlings Another great site for stats and comparing communities.
Frommers Yes, this one is a “travel” site, but there is a lot of great information here on the culture of an area.
Obviously, another great place to look is in the official website for the town you’re contemplating a move to. But don’t limit yourself to the town of your prospective employer or the most well known city names. Make sure your search includes perimeter towns too, so you don’t overlook a hidden gem.
Definitely look at the local area’s newspapers for a handle on current events and the real estate and political climate. Another great resource is to subscribe to an area’s local magazine. For example, when we relocated to the mid-Atlantic, Richmond Magazine, was an invaluable resource for bringing the region to life for us months before we actually set foot there. It gave us all things to look forward to and solidified our decision to move to the town.
For our family, the climate, recreational opportunities, and education system are important factors. Having a clear idea of what you value most in a community will help you along in the decision making process.
Deciding to move is not a small decision, but you can get a clearer idea of whether or not it is the right decision for you by taking the time to do some worthwhile research.
What helpful tools have you found?
Disconnected
Move a lot or even once and you’ll get to know the meaning of this word. Disconnected is the way most folks feel in the first weeks and even months in a new place: new life, new home, new community, new roads, new places, new people can leave you feeling a little off kilter.
Each time I move I try to remind myself that “getting busy” is a sure-fire way to arrive at the other side of that feeling of not belonging. In doing so, in a little while, one day you wake up and miraculously realize that you do belong to someplace new, often in wonderfully unexpected ways.
To push that reconnect button in your life, here are some suggestions:
- Volunteer – there are so many organizations and people in need. Your local foodbank, library, or community service agency (YMCA, JCC, etc.) often have spots to fill.
- Participate – find out about your town’s cultural calendar (check out town or city websites for upcoming events)
- Leap In – Get physically active either at a gym, walking about town, or taking up a new sport.
- Take a class – most communities have inexpensive recreation department classes open to residents and non-residents. Try a cooking class, learn a new language, or develop a hidden talent like drawing or photography.
- Hang out – find the coolest coffee shop you can and hang for a while with your favorite drink and the paper, you may sniff out some like minded folks over a shared love of lattes.
- Be patient – building the sense of belonging takes time and patience.
Nine months into my most recent move, I’m still inching my way toward belonging to my new town. But it is quite an interesting opportunity to explore so many new things, and lately I think all these experiences of things that are “new” can be its own reward.
How have your found your connection?
Moving with Middle School Aged Kids
I can’t pretend to have a magic recipe for helping middle school aged kids adjust to a move, but here are some things that have helped our moves go smoother:
Talk about it - this means not just talking, but listening too. And certainly when parents are mostly optimistic about a move it sets the right tone for the rest of the family. But don’t be phony or flat about it. Kids need the reality check that even adults can have complex and sometimes conflicting feelings about a big change and that it’s OK to feel that way.
Get some closure - Don’t just pack your things and vanish! In the weeks leading up to the move, take a time out from afterschool routines and have some gatherings with friends your kids choose to invite, have a picnic at a favorite park pavilion to roast marshmallows, or go play laser tag, whatever your kids enjoy. Give the kids some unstructured time to really hang out and spend some quality time with their buddies. A company like Candy Wrapper Store can even make cool favors ( like chocolate or lollipops with your family’s new address and phone number on it) that everyone can enjoy.
Make a date - If time and finances allow, make a plan to return for a visit to your old town in 6 months. It gives kids working through the transition something really positive to look forward to. We did this recently for a Spring Break and our kids loved getting to revisit their old town and friends. We were able to appreciate some of the great things about our old and new homes and to reconnect with our old pals, definitely a mood booster for everyone.
Let those creative juices flow - Before the move, we bought inexpensive cameras for our kids and encouraged them to take pictures of the things they liked most about their lives in the town we were leaving. Pull together these pics in an album to brighten the skies on a rainy day in your new town. One friend encouraged their outgoing child to make a video of the town, edited it together, and now has a fun youtube video to share with family and friends. One of our friends made a collage of photos from a kayak trip our families took together, and their son and our son have these collages hanging in their rooms to commemorate a day of great memories.
Packing Up - Give kids incentives for helping to get ready for the move. If you hold a garage sale, let them have their own table to sell their unwanted items and let them reap the rewards of learning to let go of some of their stuff. Offer an outing to the movies or a friend over to hang out to reward helping to pack up some boxes. Get them involved in loading and unloading deliveries to an organization like Goodwill so they can be a part of doing something good for others too.
Clear Expectations - Post the moving schedule on a dedicated calendar where everyone can see and discuss it. By having a clear timeline kids will feel less uncertainty.
H.A.L.T - Do you remember this expression from parenting class when the tikes were small? Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired? –some of these experiences that can cause kid outbursts. Pay attention: You may see some moodiness crop up surrounding aspects of the impending move; it’s good to keep in mind that these mood swings could be connected to other things. (Keeps us returning to Item 1) on the list above)
Moving Day - If the kids need to be there, make sure you have some good snacks and drinks and give them each a list of things that they can help with. Noone likes sitting around feeling useless and in the way. (Depending on your kids’ interest and abilities: they might be able to help with disassembling tables, returning items to neighbors, collecting loose items from floors, closets and under beds, or handing out donuts and drinks to the moving crew.) Ideally though, arrange for trusted friends to take the kids for some fun with buddies for at least a portion of the day. Moving day(s) can be exhausting for everyone and kids don’t have to be a part of every minute of it.
En route - We’ve found that getting each kid a journal/scrapbook for them to document their travel to the new place is helpful and fun. Plus it is a great thing to have to look back on how far they’ve come!
Getting settled in - Don’t let unpacking get in the way of other aspects of settling in. Reward yourselves each week with at least one adventure in your new town. Discover a new park, find that bike path you heard about, check out the community barbecue on the weekend. Investing a little time each week to getting connected in your place can go a long way to feeling like you fit somewhere again.
Get Help - There will likely be tears of sadness and butterflies of anticipation with any move, but in the first weeks after a move look for some of the signs of real depression: sleeplessness, loss of appetite, withdrawn behavior, loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, headaches, change in school motivation or performance, self-destructive language or behavior. Our 7th grader is thriving now, but a few months into our move he was having emotional and physical health problems so we located an excellent child psychologist (with the help of the middle school’s guidance counselor) to help him manage these changes. While we may be distracted by new home or job demands, our kids’ health and wellbeing should be our first priority.
Tune in - There’s bound to be rough water with middle school kids and moving, but with determination, planning, and a caring heart you can help your kids successfully navigate this change.
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Easy to make photo collages can be found by clicking: here.
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We’d love to hear your thoughts about moving with middle schoolers. Leave us a comment!
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